Beyond My Eyes
by alaricejade
Summary: Hermione’s hiding something from everyone, but she have to keep it to herself for she is the only one who can do something about it. She broke up with the person she truly loves just because she wants him to be safe… Safe from what exactly you asked? Safe
1. Chapter 1 Tears of The Night

BEYOND MY EYES

Summary: Hermione's hiding something from everyone, but she have to keep it to herself for she is the only one who can do something about it. She broke up with the person she truly loves just because she wants him to be safe… Safe from what exactly you asked? Safe from her… Tears, Joy, Mystery, Hate, Love, Fear… All of these elements will be covered by this magical story… "So let's bring it all back like some memories flashed into reality."

Chapter 1: Tears of the Night

I looked up and saw the glistering silver night sky. I sighed and said, "Come back to me". I glanced at my door hoping that he would return, but there was no sign of any movement. I looked at the sky again, and I found myself seeing blurred images. I closed my eyes, and suddenly I felt two tears dropped into my cheeks. I felt my heart pounding very hard on my chest, so I tried to bring everything back to me, like memories flashing into my harsh reality.

"I _hate_ you!" I said with venom; my emotions were at bay, overflowing with anger.

"Please don't do this to us, to me- after all that we've been through." He pleaded quietly.

"_NO_! You brought this to us! If it weren't for you and that _slut_ this would have never happened!"

I turned my back on him, and after a few seconds, he tried to pull me into a hug, but I refused him persistently.

"Hermione, I _love_ you. And all that you have seen was just- I don't know what happened. Something must have happened and I've lost control… and I got confused… Hermione. _Please_… I would never hurt you… _Not_ _ever_."

As I heard these words I just couldn't help myself but cry. I moved closer to the window, and wrapped my arms around me, as I felt the chilly breeze of this cold night.

"Just go please." I told him weakly. "Everything is over. I hate it to be this way because I love you. But I can't hide the fact that I can't stand what has been happening to us."

"That's it, huh! It's over just like that?" He demanded furiously, his tone bitter.

"Yes," I answered, but still I could not hide the slight tremor in my voice. In my mind, I wanted it to be over, but my heart told me that I earnestly wanted to be in his arms, telling him that we'll work it out.

"Is that so?" I heard his voice, an emotion so raw that I couldn't begin to identify, as he tried so hard to push his tears away. I knew he was crying, and I just couldn't help but feel guilty about all of this. "I never meant this to happen, Hermione."

He said, stalking toward the window where I was standing, and stopped at my back, hesitantly bringing his hands to my arms, and whispered in my ear, "I love you".

I felt goose bumps all over me, as he said those three torturing words. Again, I cried… I cried so hard, but I didn't even hear a single sound, for it was my heart that cried, and not my eyes.

He walked through the door, and before he closed it, he said, "Goodbye Hermione."

And after that, all I heard was a door being closed by someone. By _him._

"Goodbye… Goodbye Draco." I intoned sadly.

I opened my eyes and realized that 2 months have passed since that incident occurred. I've been looking at this very sky every night to remind me of that dreadful occasion. I told myself, repeatedly, 'Get over it, Hermione! Isn't this what you wanted?'

Yes this was what I wanted. I did all those, responded in those ways, because I wanted him to be safe. _Safe from what exactly?_, one might ask.

Safe from _me_.

I didn't want him hurt because of me…

'Come on, Hermione! You already finished the act of hurting hurt him, and now, you're telling yourself that you don't want to hurt him because of yourself?'

If only it hadn't been so complicated.

I sighed, and walked over to my closet. I looked at myself in the mirror, and asked my reflection, "Is this what I have become? I better do something with it before the school starts. Wrecked is a word that I would describe the state I am in, but only for now… Soon, I'll be on my feet again, and I will be smiling, dazzling everyone. After all that I've been through, I don't want anybody assuming I don't have a life. _Especially him._ I don't want him to see that after everything we've discussed that night, he will smile at me and give me that look that said, 'I knew you couldn't get over me. Look at yourself? Look what you've become without me by your side. Well, it isn't my lost.'

Ugghhh! Suffering, my suffering will happen when that will be true.

What could I do to make my appearance suitable enough for people not to ask me silly questions like, 'What happened to you, Hermione? Are you ok?'

Argh! I really don't have time for all of that crap, so I better do something about myself. I obtained my wand from my pocket, waving it three times, and then I tapped it very lightly on my head. I peered in the mirror, taking a look of myself for the second time that evening.

My hair, now in its softest curls; and my face is shining with radiance, that even with dim light in my room emanating from the window, I could see it. My cheeks have a natural pinkish glow, and my lips started to regain its reddish color. All in all, this is what I call the "transformation".

This is the real me.

The Hermione, who has all the brightness and the happiness, has returned.

"But am I really happy? Maybe not, but if I would always think that way, I will be more miserable than what I'm feeling presently."

Well, maybe I should just prepare all things that are needed for tomorrow. I am, after all, the new Head Girl. And as one, I must always be on my very best behavior, being an example to student in Hogwarts.

I sauntered over to my desk, and got everything- from quill, parchments, and to my thick textbooks- I needed for the whole year.

I'm talking to myself… Again.

It has always been a habit of mine to talk to myself- especially when I'm in one those moments like, 'I've got a problem', or like, 'No one to talk to', or even those times that, 'Nothing special, really'.

It's weird, I should know. But whenever I do this, I feel like I'm in my smartest, for when I do this I get to think of superb ideas that are astutely great.

"Hmm, tomorrow is the big day. I will see Hogwarts again, my second home. I will see my friends, and I will see him again. Tomorrow… Tomorrow…"

Tomorrow will be the day that I need to face reality- whether I like or not. But this reality is not as simple as when I was in my first year, of during my childhood. I should face this alone, and I know it will be a very difficult trial for me. Could I handle it? _I must_ because if I don't, then I may never see them again; I may never see _him_ again…

All we've been fighting for will come as a waste if I cannot face this on my own.

Putting all these thoughts aside, I lay my head in my bed, entering the gate of dreams where I never imagine that this will be the start of everything… Everything that I'm not prepared for… Everything that I fear of... Everything…


	2. Chapter 2 Visions of the Sunset

BEYOND MY EYES

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! Well, I wish though…

Summary: Hermione's hiding something from everyone, but she have to keep it to herself for she is the only one who can do something about it. She broke up with the person she truly loves just because she wants him to be safe… Safe from what exactly you asked? Safe from her… Tears, Joy, Mystery, Hate, Love, Fear… All of these elements will be covered by this magical story… "So let's bring it all back like some memories flashed into reality."

Flashback:

"_Hmm, tomorrow is the big day. I will see Hogwarts again, my second home. I will see my friends, and I will see him again. Tomorrow… Tomorrow…"_

_Tomorrow will be the day that I need to face reality- whether I like or not. But this reality is not as simple as when I was in my first year, of during my childhood. I should face this alone, and I know it will be a very difficult trial for me. Could I handle it? I must because if I don't, then I may never see them again; I may never see him again…_

_All we've been fighting for will come as a waste if I cannot face this on my own._

_Putting all these thoughts aside, I lay my head in my bed, entering the gate of dreams where I never imagine that this will be the start of everything… Everything that I'm not prepared for… Everything that I fear of... Everything…_

Chapter 2: Visions of The Sunset

I woke up feeling the tingling sensation of the cool breeze rushed through my spine. I felt so cold. I have never felt this cold in my entire life. I'm freezing like an Eskimo in the Antartic. I didn't know where the cold breeze came from because I kept my eyes shut the entire time I was feeling it. The coldness I felt was like daggers wounding my skin. I felt cold and yet I felt pain. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted all of these to go away. I wanted to move and yet I couldn't because the coldness also affected my ability to make motion. I wanted to scream for help but I realized that I also lost my ability to speak. I can't blurt out a single word because of all the emotions I felt during this painful and freezing moment. So, I decided to open my eyes to know where all of these feelings came from.

What happens next was more than I could bear. I saw nothing. Not a single thing. I only saw the darkness, like that of a night when there is no moon and stars illuminating the sky. I was shocked that I could barely breathe. I didn't know what was happening to me. All I know was I felt so alone. Again, I wanted to call someone for help. But still I couldn't. Besides, the person that I wanted to be here with me was the only person that I can't be with.

How I wished, he was here to protect me and to console me like he used to be. How I wished, he was here to give me the strength to go on. How I wished, everything would be the same again.

That's what I do…All I can do is wish.

I knew that someday I would still go back to the past and reminisce everything. But, why does it have to be now? Now that I have so many things to be worried about than my so- called 'emotional being'.

Physically, I was aching because of the coldness and the darkness that seemed to never get out of my way. Emotionally, I was aching more because of the emptiness I felt inside.

It seemed like this was the biggest challenge in my life that I couldn't get through. I was losing all my hopes of overcoming all these emotions.

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?

Then suddenly, I felt water droplets fell in my cheeks. I was crying. I don't know but it felt as if I was crying out of nothing. I felt like I couldn't control any of my tears and any of my emotions. I felt depressed inside but outside, I felt like a marionette that cannot feel or show any emotion. I was lonely and shattered and yet I was so lost like I was in the middle of nowhere.

I closed my eyes again so that all my tears would spill and would have gone. I opened it and saw blurry images caused by my tear-drenched eyes and suddenly with all the blurry images I realized that I could actually see something. I closed my eyes again and opened it so that my eyes would be tear free and looked at my surroundings. I know this place.

It was my second home. Hogwarts.

I longed for this moment. I've always wanted to be back here and smell the essence of the trees and fountains again. I always think that when I'm at Hogwarts, I will always be safe.

I haven't really looked around so I didn't notice what had happened to the school. I was stunned to have noticed that Hogwarts is really different from what I have remembered.

Everything seemed to have torn into pieces for the butterflies in the midst of dew have already gone and the trees that always bow to the wind have changed into something incredibly disastrous. I didn't know what happen, but I just stood there, pitying the sight before me.

And then suddenly, something happened that I could not describe by mere words.

But for this sake I'll try…

As I stood there watching what Hogwarts has become, darkness flew before me again. But this is not the same as what I have experienced before. Darkness flooded Hogwarts like that of a sea swallowing the shore.

It's heart-wrenching to see everything falling into pieces before me. It's hard to explain what really had happened. But all I know is that I heard somebody screamed. Wait. I was the one who screamed! I blinked and realized that I saw the perfect identical of me having hysteria on some kind of a hollow surface. No, it's a tomb. I approach the girl and touch my other self's shoulder and then when she turned around I simply cried for what had become of her. What had become of me? Her face is so unlike mine. She has the saddest eyes I saw. Her hair was disheveled and her lips were chapped from biting. It was really horrible to see myself like this.

Then, suddenly a flash of light blinded me. The bright light came from the tomb that my other self been crying about. I can't see now. The light was really irritating me until there was a shadow. There was a shadow of a person who was in front of the light. I can't see his face but I know his a man. He came closer and closer to me. Close and closer and closer...

I woke up feeling the great headache forming in skull. It had been only a dream yet it felt so much real. I touched my cheeks and felt droplets of tears in it. It had been a dream yet why do I feel so bothered about it? It seems like it's really happening or maybe it would happen?

OH MY GOD! Please don't let my dream be true. I'll do anything. Please... God help me...

I glance at my window and notice the wonderful morning. I got out of my bed and stared at myself in the mirror.

"Today's the day Hermione. You'll gonna be alright."

Though I repeated that over and over again in my head, I still can't believe everything's gonna be alright.


End file.
